Vivian Sanford, 33 years old
How much time you spend together when you first start dating is a hot topic of debate in my friendship group. Even though I appreciate that everyone is different, I'm always in the camp of not seeing each other too much, so you don't fall into a love bubble and get seeing dating going out unrealistic sense of someone. Each option has their pros and cons. I've been told that I seem unavailable or not very interested, while some of my friends have come across as needy. It's a hard balance to strike. So, is there a right answer? Well, licensed clinical psychologist Seth Meyers thinks so.
I think most of us can agree that at this point, milennial dating culture is pretty fking wack. In the modern day down-in-the-DM-life we live, it can be hard to determine how serious, or not serious, you and your boo seeing dating going out be. Is it okay to put you on my snap story?? Can I add your buddy on Facebook? Is it too soon to post an Insta together? Who the frick knows. A person you're seeing?
The almost-relationship is sadly totes normal these days. I have spent as long as a year er, maybe two in half-relationships that were somewhere between a hookup and a romantic, serious relationship. This is partially due to my fear of intimacy and inability to commit, and seeing dating going out due to the men I choose to spend time with probably also due to my fear of intimacy. Someone I spent far too long with once actually told me, "It was just really nice to pretend to be in a long-term relationship for a while" at the end of our time well terribly spent. I've tried to explain to my dad that "I'm not looking for a relationship" is a normal thing people who are actively dating say nowadays. I don't care how busy they are; if things were going to progress, you'd be hanging more than once a week.
More about seeing dating going out:
Am I seeing this guy or dating him? I asked my friends. I considered standing on a street corner and asking NYC strangers but a blizzard made me scrap that idea. Like the difference between the B and D train: one easily seeing dating going out you to the American Museum of Natural Historythe other zooms you up to th leaving you wondering what the hell you did wrong and OMG am I in Harlem!? Turns out a lot of people agree with my take on these two words! Yes, I told him I was writing this post and asked his thoughts. Turns out we have polar opposite views on these two confounding words. So I gave this stupid syntax wayyyyy more thought than it ever deserved. I wanted answers.
And why are there so many terms to choose from? I usually end up saying I'm "seeing" someone, even if it's been six months and we go on extremely romantic dates — I'm just being sad girl about asking them to make it exclusive or leave seeing dating going out alone forever. Nobody wants it. Dating can mean anything from being in a committed, serious relationship to simply going on a handful of dates for a certain period of time. You're definitely hanging out. If you're only meeting up once it's dark outside, you're not dating; you're hooking up. Seamless-ing brunch does not a date make. This is textbook old school dating.
What is the difference between "Seeing someone" and "Dating someone"? Is "Seeing" more serious than Dating? Does "Seeing" mean "Exclusive"? It's all semantics which are defined differently according to each and every person's social constructs. I think if you are seeing dating going out for exclusivity, then you should ask for it or rather, ask for where you stand in the relationship in regards to this matter. Logically speaking, a relationship should progress from being open and inclusive of all possibilities to one of exclusive nature with one person.